I have been racking my brain trying to come up with new ideas for music, and have been able to work on absolutely nothing. I took some time to think about it, and I realised I was still waiting to finish older works that I left behind. It seems my heart calls out to them, with a desire to finish them, but for some reason, I am afraid. I don’t know why. I feel like I’m trying to please someone else by denying myself what I enjoy. I really wish they could eat their own balls, but unfortunately they would just clap back with something worse. Sometimes I hate my own inability to do things. All the time I hate a lot of other people around me. Someone help me. I don’t want to be mediocre. I fear it.